Emotional flashback: What it is, what it feels like, and how to cope

What is an emotional flashback?

Emotional flashbacks are intrusive thoughts or feelings related to a past traumatic experience that become activated in the present moment by a trigger. Depending on the severity, it can last for minutes, hours, or even days. It’s one of the common symptoms of Complex PTSD.

Experiencing an emotional flashback is like being transported back in time and reliving the pains from your childhood, as if they were happening in the present moment. But because there are usually no visual images or memories associated with it, emotional flashbacks can be hard to detect. We may not even realize what we’re experiencing is an emotional flashback.

What does an emotional flashback feel like?

Emotional flashbacks feel like being flooded with intense and overwhelming emotions. When you experience an emotional flashback, the amygdala (part of the brain that detects threats in the environment) becomes hijacked by stress and you go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode (more on the 4F trauma responses here).

When this occurs, you may experience:

• Intense fear, anxiety, anger, loneliness, or sadness that feels out of control

• Difficulty with emotional regulation

• Feelings of helplessness, despair, or hopelessness

• Dissociation

• Toxic shame and harsh judgment of self or others

• Physical symptoms, such as muscle tension, sweating, and increased heart beat

Not being able to untangle present day triggers from the emotional wounds of the past, we may believe that we’re crazy or there’s something inherently wrong with us, perpetuating the cycle of toxic shame.

How do I know if I’m having an emotional flashback?

Based on my personal experience, one of the biggest indicators that you’re having an emotional flashback is when your emotional reaction feels disproportionate to what’s happening in the present.

For example, if your partner is 15 minutes late to dinner and doesn’t pick up your call, it would be reasonable to feel worried or even annoyed. However, if you begin to feel intense anxiety, anger, or sadness to the point of tears, what’s likely happening is that an unresolved emotional wound – such as fear of abandonment experienced in childhood – is being activated by the situation. This exacerbates and intensifies the pain you feel in the present moment.

Emotional flashbacks can be an invitation to go within – and explore the deeper root cause of our emotional pain so that we can gain a better understanding of ourselves, our triggers, and how we can manage them.

How to cope with an emotional flashback

1 | Acknowledge what’s happening

When you experience an emotional flashback, acknowledge it by saying, “I’m having an emotional flashback and it will pass.” Given the nature of emotional flashbacks, this may be challenging at first, but with practice and increased awareness, you’ll begin to recognize it more over time. Observe and accept what’s happening without catastrophizing or being consumed by it.

2 | Connect back to the present moment

Connect back to the present moment by using grounding techniques that engage one or more of your five senses. Regulate your nervous system by taking slow, deep belly breaths (which helps signal safety to the brain).

3 | Identify potential triggers

Emotional flashbacks can be opportunities to bring awareness to potential triggers and identify emotional wounds and unmet needs. What was happening when you experienced an emotional flashback? What thoughts, feelings, or sensations came up? Do you recall another time in your life where you felt this way?

4 | Re-establish safety and practice self-compassion

Remind yourself that you are now safe. While you may have once felt helpless and powerless as a child, as an adult today, you’re now able to remove yourself from uncomfortable situations or ask for help. Hold space for the inner child who felt scared, unsafe, or threatened, and meet them with kindness and compassion.

How you feel and your internal experiences are completely valid. Having an emotional flashback doesn’t mean that you’re broken, overreacting, or being too sensitive. It means you’re experiencing a trauma response. By practicing to cultivate awareness and learning ways to regulate, we can learn to work with our nervous system to lessen the debilitating impacts of emotional flashbacks and restore safety over time.

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